Uh…
I couldn’t think of a better title for this post. But it sincerely describes what I’m thinking right now.
Let me elaborate before you start thinking that I’m so unintelligent that “Uh…” is the only thing that I think about. Well…nowadays…maybe it actually is….my mind’s getting too airy for my liking. On a side note, “creeping meatballism” is a word. Dictionary.com is your best friend.
Anyway, my quiz section for international studies just finished (amusing as it always is) and now I am sitting here in Odegaard in the computer lab where the clusters of Macs are. I didn’t really have lunch today, so I decided to go to Kane Hall to get something from the vending machines. I had to pee really bad, so that’s why I just didn’t go to By George.
So I climb up the stairs and plop myself down in front of a Mac. To the left of me is this woman who was also here yesterday.
I open my bag of Wheat Thins, wondering if I really should have gotten that bag of Famous Amos cookies instead. The bag makes that obnoxious plastic-squelching sound, but whatever–everyone hears it probably twenty-two times a day and is immune to it….right?
I pop a Wheat Thin in my mouth, savoring its crunchy goodness and telling myself that I made a good decision about not getting the cookies.
I open up Firefox when the woman at the left peeks around at me, wide-eyed and shaking her head vigorously. I look at her with a bewildered look (maybe somewhat scared too).
“Uh…no…could you not…no…please….” she stammers. She blinks her huge, round eyes approximately five times like she just had Lasik done or something.
“Uh…do you…?” I start to ask.
At this point I was at a loss for words. How do you respond to that?!
“No…please…don’t….I….” she continues to stammer. She looks back at her monitor for a few seconds. Then back at me. Her eyes, which are in all-seriousness as huge as that unfortunate cat’s, blink some more.
“Uh…ok, if it disturbs you….” I say.
Obviously, I’m still at a loss for words. I would’ve said something, but the whole notion about a woman telling me not to eat my Wheat Thins was shocking to me. I didn’t even know what exactly was disturbing her. Maybe the sound of me eating? Was it really that loud and obvious???
So I put my Wheat Thins in my bag, STILL confused as hell. Maybe she’s like Monk and has OCD.
…Who knows.
I’m tempted to see what happens if I eat another Wheat Thin, but I’m scared for my life. She might go ballistic and throw her mouse at me, which right now I notice she has a death grip on. I’m too nice for my own good.
I could just switch computers, but I’m feeling so lazy.
Now that I think about it, I’d be embarrassed if I were this woman. She just told a girl she doesn’t even know not to eat her Wheat Thins. Actually, she didn’t even say anything. She just blurted out one-syllable words at me.
EDIT
Well, she’s gone now. Didn’t say a single word when she left.
So I brought my Wheat Thins back out, when a guy to the right of me says “Excuse me…”
I was on the brink of rolling my eyes when it turned out he only wanted me to watch his stuff while he went to the bathroom.
